SAY NO TO KNOWING

Never ask your woman (or man, personal choice) a question you are not ready to hear the answer to. Better yet… some questions are better left unasked, and answers unknown.

However… this is where I contradict myself. Most romantics would say that you should be able to ask and say anything to the one you’re with, and yes, I guess that’s true. But, let’s be honest the when and where is what truly matters.

Case in point… When you’re in bed many things are allowed, but never (when I say never, I mean never) ask your woman “Who’s the best?” Do not ask, unless she brings it up. She’ll tell you when she wants you to know or when she’s been with you so long she forgot about the real guy who was. Because the truth is, it may not be you. And, the truth could severely ruin the rest of the night. Trust me, I know.

There’s nothing like being in the heat of the moment, overcome with passion, kissing and biting then all of a sudden you bellow out, “Who’s the Best,” and with conviction she yearns… “Jamal!”

Only problem is your name’s not Jamal, it’s Kevin.

Be careful what you ask for. I’m just saying…


…your girlfriend’s favorite comic"
-tonee bell

The Cashless Cold-Blooded Ice Breaker

Times are too tough to waste money on something that’s going to be meaningless anyway. There are still a few ways to be flashy without having to wear rhinestone shirts. So, quit buying that bitch $15 martini’s to strike up conversation. It’s not that we can’t afford it, the question is… should we have to? Don’t get it twisted, there are plenty of ways to get a woman to notice you, make her giggle and impress her without Andrew Jackson doing the talking for you… that is, if it’s a real woman you want.

Try this on for size. One afternoon when you’re with the fella’s at the sports bar or maybe a happy hour with friends try the “On Me.” This may prove to be a bit corny, but I have to say, it works… always.

So…

The woman that has earned your attention… verify that she has sent you the invite, “the eye,” and return it. Next, have the bartender deliver two large waters with ice, and lemons on a saucer (or however many girlfriends she’s with). The bartender should say, “compliments of the gentlemen at the bar (or where ever you are sitting).” That’s when you graciously accept the gratitude; usually with a slight hand gesture and head nod. Never bite the lip, that’s too much. This is when you judge her sense of humor, if she has one. If she does, she will smile and say thank you, minutes later swoop in like the hawk you are.

Who knew ice water was such a great ice breaker..?

"...your girlfriend's favorite comic"
-tonee bell


Watch out for: "GAMEOVER" the movie